It was a bright sunny day in Abbottabad, Pakistan. It was around 95 degrees outside on that beautiful
May 2nd day of 2011. That was the day my own dad was shot and killed
by the United States Navy Seal Team 6. He was just sitting there all innocent
watching his daily cartoon, The Power Puff Girls on his small 12 inch analog
television screen, and cuddled up in a blanket eating his favorite cereal
Special K. Then all of sudden around 6 o’clock AM, a loud bang came to his door
and men with guns drawn came shouting and screaming to “Give Up!” but my dad
said “NO” and through his Special K at one of the men’s face. Then there was a
loud BANG and that was the end, the end of my dad, his name was Osama Bin
Laden.
I LOVE THIS! I think you could have used some better word choice but other than that it is really good.
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